It is all very clear now. While I like to think of myself as
being able to walk in a normal manner as if in my pre-pregnancy days
comfortably wearing heels, I am probably looking anything but normal. I continue to pretend I do not waddle like a chubby
duckling yet, it is clear that I am toting quite a load.
‘We’re like local royalty because of your twin bump!’
handsome man ‘o mine recalls as doorway after doorway is cleared by oncoming
shoppers as I weave in and out of baby boutiques on Saturday.
I appreciate the courtesy of strangers yet, cannot help but wonder
if I look incredibly uncomfortable to them? I swear some grimace as we meet
yet, handsome man ‘o mine says I am imagining it. Therefore, they must be
grimacing.
One definite reoccurrence is the stares directed at my belly
from other women. I can understand
eyeing up a woman wearing perfect Jimmy Choo shoes or daintily displaying that
Chanel wristlet you have been stalking for months but, simply staring a
pregnant woman’s ripened belly for more
than a glance is quite unacceptable. It isn’t as if I have visible panty lines
or a lacy thong on show. I have babies in my belly!
‘It’s jealousy!’ a friend turned recent mum says as she sips wine whilst
grating ginger over our soon to be delish dinner.
Perhaps it is, but it makes my afternoon turn grumpy. And,
the fact that handsome man ‘o mine gets great thrills out of counting the
glances, I turn even grumpier with each rising number.
And so, this load I graciously speak of has also taken over
the view of my toes (which are perfectly painted in the perfect shade of ‘perfect
plum’ thanks to handsome man ‘o mine and OPI polish). There is no way I’m giving birth
with manky (that’s ‘disgusting’ in British terms) toes (Grandmother, do not finish reading this sentence!) and sporting an
un-groomed noonie (that’s ‘vagina’ in Amanda terms despite the urban dictionary
stating that it means, ‘A wet but beautiful place which is best shared with
someone you love.’ I’m lost for words there.....). Yes, my hospital bags are
packed (slightly prematurely) and my noonie is groomed (I manage to tend to my
lady garden on my own, thankfully.). All
is fine.
Speaking of hospitals, I had my first stay in one last
weekend. The twins are well. But, my body wasn’t adjusting to sugar well but, is
under control now. My stay wasn’t
pleasant and I shall not harp on about it but, I will say it at least gave me a
good idea of what to expect when I do give birth to the twins. Free healthcare
in the UK. Well, it is free- there is no more room for elaboration. I do know
that I have no coping mechanism when in hospitals and become a fretting loony
when left alone and my own anxiety soon takes
over. I will find the whole second
experience in hospital ie., labour quite difficult and probably quite
stressful. I hate the idea of the
afterbirth. Complete exhaustion, in survival mode trying to cope with two new
and fresh dependable little lives while visitors sip champagne and pass our
twins around like canapés. Strong I must
be and firmness I will possess. We have waited a long time for this moment and
want alone time. Is it possible to hibernate a family of four after the birth
of two babies? And, how come so many people are so incredibly anxious to knock
on your door when there are two new arrivals when they never made the effort to
see how you were coping before the arrival? We shall tape a sign to the door
stating,
Twins inside. You my pass go if you do one of the following:
1.
*Make new mum and dad a cuppa tea (or gin and
tonic)
2.
*Wash one load of laundry and hang in sunshine to
dry
3.
*Take twins for fresh air whilst new mum and dad
take quick nap
4.
*Bring freezable meal for heating later
5.
*Change at least 2 nappies/diapers
Ok, perhaps I am asking a bit much. Really, I’m so ready for
this – well, at least my bags are packed.
Update: The twin's week 32 +4 days growth scan today went well. Both twins are head down and that is not likely to change as they are running out of room to move. Twin 1 is weighing 5 lbs while Twin 2 is weighing 4 1/2 lbs. I'm carrying nearly 10 lbs worth of babies and still have a while to go yet. We are happy parents-to-be!
